| Reeling from Infidelity? It’s not hopeless! |
|
Your perception of reality has been
shattered. You can’t eat, sleep or think clearly. Your emotions
range from shock and disbelief to rage, and everything in between. A
desire for revenge is overwhelming. Life will never be the same, or
at least that’s the way it seems. In fact, it is possible for a
relationship to recover from – and even flourish after – an
infidelity. Here’s what it takes. First, find a couple therapist whom you both trust. Someone who is trained in this area will help you and your partner muddle through the initial trauma. A big part of this involves helping you to come up with a game plan for day to day living; who sleeps where; how meals are handled; when you talk about the crisis and when you don’t; who you tell and who you don’t. The goal of therapy at this time is to help you refrain from making things worse. Later in therapy, the goal is to understand what happened and make changes in the relationship. Essentially, you and your partner, with the help of your couple therapist, will build a new and better relationship. If you’re thinking that this sounds like a lot of work, you’re right. If you’re thinking that you have to decide if you want to stay together BEFORE you do this work, you’re wrong. You don’t have to commit to an outcome. Instead, commit to the process of figuring out what happened, finding out if you can repair the damage and safeguard the relationship against future threats. With good therapy, many couples rebuild their relationships and move on. Even if you’re among those for whom this is not possible, you and your partner -- and your children -- will benefit from the couple therapy. You will learn that a relationship need not be ended solely with animosity. Instead, couple therapy offers the chance for clarity about the reasons for ending the relationship, improved emotional equilibrium, and relationship skills that will serve you well in the future.
|
